ebb

like a thousand sunsets
the weight of a day put to rest
falls against this backdrop
of obligations
a hand outheld
always waiting
wanting
depleted
defeated
frustration
never enough
time
courage
energy
only hope
and faith
just so tired
of always trying
falling one step short
of every goal
of every mark
fading potential
and fleeting years
cant begin tomorrow
when i've yet to finish today

the weight of this silence
traps my breath within my chest
even tears cannot fall against it
there is a moment
that marks a point
when return is no longer an option
did it pass?
in the midst of everyday bullshit
and misguided thought?
did it slip
and fill the gap in between?
its power like stone
unbreakable...
soon,
we'll know soon
maybe it's too soon
to know for sure
or maybe certainty
comes unwillingly
yet unceasingly
increasingly....
i'll fight
till fists bleed
blood may be futile
but it's thicker than tears

sometimes
the wind shifts
and words slip
and even the brightest of days
are lost to haze
and you sit
and wonder
and sit
wondering
how quickly things held
can be dropped
when the heart stops
the mind still turns
slowly turns
head over heals over head
over
the smallest of mistakes
have the highest of stakes
in one quick flash
you see the past
in the future
forgetting to question tomorrow
lets history repeat
but you're in so deep...

fear

i remember
searching for this
not finding
empty hands
looking so hard
to find this
before it found me
only to find
that it was right in front
staring, eye to eye
close enough to touch.
of course i did
of course i looked right past it
overlooked it
looked away
i knew there was something
if only one thing
and here it is.
shake my hand
my the best man win.

disbelief

i can't
i can't believe it
i try
everyday
i try
to convince myself
it's just too good
so good
amazing
can it really be?
honestly, seriously...
is this really possible?
how?
do you do it
does it work...?
baby..
tell me
really, truly..
are you for real?
is this for real?
mine?
it's perfect
all of it.
more.
please, more.
always, more..
please?

here.

everyday i wake
with you in my arms
and awe in my heart
a smile
on my lips
this is peace
this is happiness
this
is more than i knew could be true
could be real
could be
mine
you are mine
as i am yours
we belong
to something more
to the force of our souls
intertwined
everyday is a gift
and every touch
rewrites
my everything
my every thing
my very DNA
burns
passion burns
as flesh
burns its permanence
no matter where you are
you will always be
here
in my mind
in my words
in my heart.

memories...

Here I am
Here- this desolate icy coldness.
Crevice in time, crack through my heart.
STUCK. Afraid to move forward
to feel this again- suffocated by fear.
Only tears break through
Breaking. Broken.
Shattered insignificance.
Hunted by truth,
destroyed by reality,
my own delusion,
my trust, my desire,
my perseverance,
my hope.
Betrayal- piercing my perception
my misconception
of what I deserved.
Afraid to move forward.
Vulnerability- unwillingly
scarred sensitivity.
Changing me
who I never wanted to be
losing control
I never had.

remember who asked

Always.
I will give you everything
As a gift, as an offering
Expose the throat
Head held high
Gaze forward- focused
Stark nudity
such vulnerability
this offering of all of me
Stands still
Still here
Standing before you
The Fear
Lies in the trust
Lies in the truth
and lies.
I feel this
Everywhere- in every muscle
In every movement
Like an extension
of everything good in me
Every moment of pride.
An answer
to every tear shed
to every “why” shouted
into emptiness
Stands here
before me
with the deepest brown eyes
and the most beautiful smile…

empowered.

There is no top,
no plateau,
no summit,
there is only up.
Forward. Up.
Limitation
is another man’s word,
we will never know.
Together-
we are everything
all things.
This.
This Love. This Power.
Did not exist
until we created it.
Perfect. Everything is
Perfect.
Perfectly where it’s meant to be.
Here.
Within. Between.
No one who came before
knew,
and none who follow
will see.
Ours. This is ours.
This is us.

i have no control
over anything
but
the me that will be here
when you are gone.

temptation

flesh
swollen, raised...
bruised, aching...
burning
longing
burning...
just a taste
just a tease
just a glimpse to hold on to
to long for
to replay countlessly
over and over
until we meet again...
soon
you said
hold on.
images flash-
body burns
everything craves
everything desires
that touch.
nothing left uncovered.
waiting... hoping.. wanting...
this moment
now
right now
promises and desires
and you
here
now.
you should be here
right now.

restlessness

disconnect
pull back, stagger.
withdraw, release, withdraw.
inside of you
and enveloping me.
was it spoken words?
or purely actions?
is it anything
if i don't give it breath?
tell me,
everything,
all the things
i never want to hear.
your voice
like a drug
i'll never know what hit.
my belief
in this
is more powerful than you.

full moon

nothing
means anything
means everything
means tomorrow
is another day.
the beauty
is in the fight
is in the moments
between minutes.
tangled,
torn,
between
dreams and fears.
fight what's inside
to hold on to the outside.
is it a choice
or a gift
or a game
at the hands of another?
every creation
holds its own keys to destruction.
there exists within,
a passion,
that drives
that builds
that burns
and burns.
all that i have
all that i am
will vanquish in this flame.

on love

radiant lack of darkness
pins and needles
beauty and pressure
and beauty
of connection
of empathy
of blissful serenity
the reality
born in the heart
grows in every interaction
expands beyond intention
chronic infection
of embodiment
surpasses its own spark of creation
protected in nurture
in reverence
in awe
in reception
created in positivity
in joy
and truth
and enlightenment
formative undulation of light
conquers balance
harbors peace
enables unity.

centered.

cleansing wisdom
inner strings pulled
pulled from chore electromagnetism
everything center
strength of indestructible balance
life force beyond transgression
radiates through power
and connection
all is one is all
peace
of essence
the humanity of me
one breath
one united movement
capability
harnessed in intuition
released in electricity.
touch
soft smooth embrace
hear
inner truth, reality of now
fragrance of transformation
sweet subtleties
vision of the divination of mundane
what used to be
now radiates
in reception
limitless elasticity
into an altered degree
expands beyond
any ability to limit in clarity
rise
above all
rise beyond the individual
anchored in physicality
released in mental awakening
from within
and from beyond
beyond rationality
beyond all that used to be
fire.
inner peace.
fire.
fear manifests in motivation
utilization
effect in the affect
amidst all
illumination.
elevation
holds light
lightly grounded in capability
in inspired resonance
wisdom from universal connection
breeds appreciation
reality, merely a formality.
Rebirth. Chosen.

DNA

body mind
between space time
within the inner most expanse of me
energy
pure breath of energy
filter through the me
spiral spiral
rise
awareness manifest in breathing patterns
slow, slower, slowly
ebb
disconnect into the reconnection
ebb
enter the exterior
through gated misconceptions
ebb
flow, slow, flow
breathe
deeper, out and beyond
flow
slow
release
relax
penetrate with concentration
experience
ebb and flow and experience
quiet stillness
still concentration
and spiritual manifestation
of self
oneself, yourself
myself
reconnected, resurrected
beyond mortality
into vitality
this vital sublimation
still the soul
into the ebb and flow
the breath of release
increased
paced progression
beyond intent
reinvention of indoctrination
in this moment
feel the intensity of sensation.

the whole world stops
every time
those words
cross your lips

every cell
within my being
burns with passion
as the words pierce my flesh

every wall
every reservation
dissipates
beneath the weight of this moment

everyting,
this means everything.

flight patterns

Today
unlike any other
not as good as tomorrow
yet better than before.
Looking forward
towards the future
for the first time
in a long time
wanting more.
Happiness
is tangible
is touchable
is inside.
Part of me
of what I used to be
has been set free.
Letting go
holding on
letting go
letting
myself feel.
Balance
on the tip of my tongue
on the edge of your world.
Walk the line
between yes and no
maybe.
Or maybe could be
will be
carefully
explored.
I say yes
if you say yes
and we say yes
then let's.
Dive
into the unknown
the unforeseen
the "this can't be"
happening
moment by moment
happening.
Every day
a little stronger
and always deeper
I stop falling
and begin to soar.

balance

relax
feel the tightness fade.
breath
focus on the air that feeds your mind.
exhale with certainty
new moments beginning.
search for stability
in the turning of tides
and recognize your mortality
as an object of beauty.
balance,
with dignity
with pride,
let trauma subside
into memories of love.
with trembling hands
conquer the world.

maturity

i used to speak before thinking
letting each word manifest itself in sound
as it entered my head.
i spoke fast
chaotically
in fits of rage
and passion.
like bullets
my words struck unprotected victims
of whatever was happening to me.

i speak now
rarely
when it cannot be avoided
with exercised answers
of intricate precision.
the truth locked inside
a forrest of lies.