crash.
come crashing down
wash over me
fall.
a thousand steps
endlessly
out of nowhere
and from everything
spilling

silent screams
and silent tears
shattering
pounding.

deny deny deny
believe.

smoke rings
dissipate
radiate
floating asunder.
beauty engulfing
enclosing
blinding.
the weight
encapsulates
but does not flee.
those eyes
burn through my soul
burn through my walls
burn through the haze
of lost time.
feel it
you feel this
connection
your energy gave you away.
and mine?
stark
exposed
there was no reason to hide
why hide this?
why pretend?
this is me.

every day
a step closer
each movement away
draws closer to the truth
it is everything it never was

my heart convulsed
and everything went numb
there was no light
nor was there darkness
the only feeling was weight

there is a lesson
here
in this desolation
but learning
will leave you naked upon the alter.

feel my love this night
i seek you in the depths of your dreams
your heart unguarded
embraces mine
the remnants of our love for each other
will rest upon your lips
as you awake.
reach for me
where i used to be
and feel this absence
nobody is winning
like this.

i pray for words
for brilliant words
that illuminate
this chasm in my heart
look
look right here
see this void?
that's the place where you belong.

incomplete.
that's the feeling
part of me
existing so far away
like an open wound
this throbbing consumption.

oh baby,
i don't know what to do.

there is no bouncing back from this
i will never be the same