falling

your voice
resonates in my soul
ricochets between the walls of my heart
and materializes
upon my lips.
smiling
ear to ear
from within
everywhere.
every touch
every contact
ignites
every cell.
restoration radiates around me
begins within.
from my tongue
comes languages forgotten
words, once betrayed, and left for decay
now approach
the edge
of spoken and felt
of offered and taken...
fear diminishes
beneath your gaze
as hope
ceases its hiding.

a proclamation

I am
a reflection
of your projection
of every rejection.
A mere collection
of years of hesitation
love and separation
a manifestation
of sublimation
and violent frustration.
A shell of intent
and time never spent.
All the things you resent
all those promises lent
that never became
more than something to blame,
the absence of fame.
When everyday is the same,
I am your shame.
And yet
I am not you.
I will grow where you never grew
do things you'll never do.
You're resentment inspires
and ignites internal fires,
the pursuit of desires
beyond what life merely requires.
Released from your hold
and the soul that you've sold.
All the lies I've been told
will no longer mold
who i am to become.
You are only where I came from
never again march to your drum.
I have broken free
free to be fully me
to fully just be
a greatness
beyond anything you'll ever see.

promises promises

Sing,
sweet siren,
your beautiful song.
Lull me
into dreams unspoken.
Request me by name
if you want me
here
I'll be.
I am
Powerless
against every note that passes between your lips.
Every word
pulls me deeper.
Walls become ruins
where hope becomes truth.
Each and every breath
crisp with intention
fuels my desire.
Sing to me,
those moonlight promises
those intoxicated truths,
whispered before dawn's arrival
slow with sleep
and the scars of past trust.
I'll keep my promises
if you let me.

because no one else will do it for you.

for all the words,
the hours and hours,
the silence still holds
the ultimate serenity.

the looks
the wordless gestures
the accidental contact
the purposeful engagement
the soundless stares
seize my very existence
paralysis
ignites from within
forms a smile
deeper than words
stronger than hope
mind
to body
to soul
to mind

believe it
because its happening
believe it
because it stands before you


just reach out
just reach out and connect
it exists
you exist
this exists
somewhere.
bring it here.
take it
have it
hold it
enjoy every last minute.

blindness

caught.
eyes caught
I'm caught.
Body contraction
Filter. Filter. Filter,
Feel.
Grip, bite down
hold tight
hold steady
don't let go
don't let go
don't...
Let go,
let the blood
drain veins
into pools of dreams
and hopes and desires
and,
all these pieces of me.
Crimson.

Don't speak
words ruin
Don't speak
words ruin
Don't exhale
everything will be...
Ruined.
Eclipse my fate
straight down my center
Don't look
directly at it,
don't stare.
Blink
just blink
break the hold
break the light
don't let it
burn it's mark
it's permanent mark
it's beautiful, beautiful scar.
Look away.
It's too late...
Already want it
feel it
want it
need it
want it
hate it...

Want it..
Desire is not enough.

on learning.

vagabond
this bohemian curse of restlessness
forever forward
forever through
search and find and desire
take what I can
what I will
what I need
and move on
move forward
move backward
sewing seeds
but never roots
always wanting more and more and
more
always more
it’s never enough
but it’s just enough
to keep the journey
alive
constant desire
for change of pace
for different faces
tire easily, lay down for rest
settle for the daybreak
build a shelter
something stable
but its never home
always someone else’s sky
holding someone else’s stars
some nights they seem so close
so tangible
reach out
and grab air
great in theory
never in practice
muscles tighten
strengthen
define
redefine
will never be used
for better
for more
search and search
for something familiar
for something that fits
judgemental stares
as wrinkles deepen
mistaken for undriven
home is never here
it’s always up ahead
around the corner
somewhere beyond
the desire to hold it all
to see it all
to feel every last feeling
overcomes
and everythin always amounts
to nothing
just another move
in no direction
my home
does not exist
does not exist
does not exist.

every last piece

every last piece of me
felt that moment
heard those words
every last piece of me
collapsed beneath the force
shifted form
ebbed
and flowed
every neuron fired
like lightening
and trembled like rain
but
still
i sat still
paralyzed
i sat still.
I sat
still feeling
and unable to break the connection
every last piece of me
desired to pull away
desired to
desire something else
worth desiring
every fucking last piece of me
will always remember
will always remember
will always remember

full moon.

build it up
into everything
into nothing
into one moment
smile like you mean it
like you feel it
like you want it
too
let go of your mind
and fall into mine
pull the curtains closed
turn off the lights
shut the doors
hide from everything
and everyone
and feel it
the burn
the fire
the burn
the desire
the fear
all of it
every last drop
bleed it dry.